Last week I read:
by Annie Downs
The dust jacket reads: When the enemy whispers lies that you are not smart enough, pretty enough, or rich enough... Or you are too dumb, too loud, too quiet, too thin, too fat, too much or not enough.... What if you don't have what it takes to be who you really want to be?
Annie dives into her authentic self and says the things we feel deep down but don't want to admit because that means we are weak. We don't want to people to know our dark secrets because that makes us vulnerable and we don't want to appear broken. She openly admits that she struggles to see the beautiful in everyday life but she's working on it. Daily. Here are a few excerpts.
On losing weight, relationships, working out and quitting - anything:
I've never been good at looking past my current pain or suffering and trusting that it will pay off in the future. I think the road has always seemed too long. So when a situation feels painful or scary or hard, I want out.
On truly letting yourself feel instead of putting up guards and living an untrue life;
Looking for lovely is not some sort of cheerleader chant. I'm not waving pom-poms at you or dressing like Pollyanna and trying to convince you that things shouldn't hurt if you are "doing this right." In fact, I'd say it's the other way around. It's not about pretending everything is beautiful and nothing is ugly and you have no questions or doubts and picking out the beautiful in your everyday is going to protect you from anything hurting ever. It's about feeling the pain, letting the suffering be a part of your life. If you aren't experiencing pain, you aren't experiencing beauty. Darkness makes us appreciate the beauty of the life. If you aren't allowing yourself to feel the hurt, sadness, loneliness, and disappointment this fallen world has to offer, you probably aren't feeling the fullness of the joy and beauty the redeemed moments have to offer. There is nothing beautiful about a tragedy. But there is beauty in choosing to feel that pain, in calling hurt what it is, and not pretending everything is okay. Don't ignore the hurt. Don't attempt to avoid it and just move on with your life. Feel it all, and invite people in to feel it with you.
On being an individual:
But that's the thing about looking for lovely around you - what you find beautiful ay not be what I find beautiful. The moments you collect that will help you finish the thing you've started may not be moments that matter to me. Oh the beauty of being humans who are allowed to be creatively different, yes?
On the beauty of friends who are cut differently:
Something happens when we stand by each other. My loud brings beauty to her quiet, and her quiet brings beauty to my loud. My selfishness really displays her consistent willingness to be a wing woman, and her generosity really makes my selfishness, um, stand out. Her northerness mixes with my southerness; and though we don't always understand each other's upbringing, I appreciate her shade of culture, and she appreciates mine. We look better together than apart. She adds value to my life, and next to me she makes me a more beautiful Annie. Our differences are clear, but the ways we can work together far surpass the need to focus on ways we aren't alike.
And here is what I am planning on reading over the next week (or two):
and
I also grabbed a copy of Abandoned America, just another book on the beauty that is dilapidated and abandoned schools, theatres, and hospitals.
And all this is just the tip of the literary iceberg.
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